“Sorry…”: What Students Apologise For and Why It Matters

 

“Sorry.”

It’s one word I hear surprisingly often in my counselling office.

Not for anything serious. Just small things that students say almost automatically.

“Sorry, my grades dipped a little this term.”
“Sorry, I don’t have as many activities as others.”
“Sorry, I’m still not sure what I want to study.”
“Sorry, my essay topic might sound very simple.”
“Sorry, I’m a bit confused about everything.”

Sometimes it comes with a quick laugh. Sometimes it’s said very quietly, almost as if they’re preparing themselves to be judged.

But I always notice it.

Because somewhere along the way, many young people begin to feel that by the time they walk into a counsellor’s office, they are supposed to have everything figured out. A clear direction. A strong profile. A well-polished story about who they are and where they are going.

And if they don’t, they apologise.

But this stage of life was never meant to be that tidy.

You are supposed to change your mind.
You are supposed to explore things that may or may not work out.
You are supposed to discover interests you didn’t even know existed a year ago.

Some of the most thoughtful students I meet are exactly the ones who are still asking questions. Still wondering. Still figuring things out.

And that’s not a weakness.

That’s growth.

Perhaps I notice these apologies more now because I have also experienced this journey from another seat. As a parent of two children who have gone through the college application process, I have seen up close the quiet pressure students carry. The feeling that they must present a perfectly packaged version of themselves to the world.

But young people are not finished stories.

They are still being written.

So whenever a student begins a sentence with “Sorry…”, a small part of me wants to pause and gently say:

You don’t need to apologise for being a work in progress.

At seventeen or eighteen, that is exactly where you are meant to be.

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If this resonated with you in some way, feel free to share your thoughts. I’m always listening.

Upasana 
Articulate. Reflect. Choose.