Why We Buy: The Hidden Psychology Behind Our Spending

 

          Handbags, saris, degrees… what are we really chasing?

                                           By Upasana Kinra | Psychologist and Career & College Counsellor

We love to judge, don’t we?
A celebrity with 500 handbags? “So wasteful.”
A teacher obsessed with expensive saris? “So vain.”
A banker who wears the same few outfits? “So stingy.”
A software engineer collecting degree after degree? “So restless.”

But here’s the truth - most of these choices have very little to do with handbags, saris, simplicity, or certificates. They’re about stories from the past. Stories most of us never see.

The Celebrity with 500 Handbags
To the world, it’s indulgence. But maybe each bag is a victory. A reminder she is no longer the girl who was told she’d never amount to anything. For someone who grew up in chaos, control can look like a closet organised by brands.

The Teacher with the Expensive Wardrobe
She knew what it meant to not have. To be the one in the wrong outfit at a school function as a child, feeling smaller because of financial constraints. Today, every outfit is her way of saying: “I don’t have to feel that way anymore.” It’s not just fashion, it’s rewriting her story.

The Banker Who Chooses Simplicity
She could spend. She chooses not to. Maybe because she learned early that showing off invited envy or criticism. Or maybe she simply finds comfort in “enough.” Not buying isn’t always stinginess. It can be peace.

The Software Engineer Collecting Degrees
To her colleagues, it’s an ambition. To her friends, maybe restlessness. But what if each certificate is more than a qualification? What if it’s a shield against the voice from childhood that said, “You’ll never be enough.” Structured learning becomes safety. Each achievement is a brick in the wall she’s building against insecurity.

So, Who’s Right?
None. And all of them.
Because when you look closely, it’s never about handbags, clothes, or certificates. It’s about healing. Coping. Filling old gaps in ways the world may never understand.

Turning the Mirror Back to Us
Here’s where it gets interesting: we all have our version of a handbag, a sari, a certificate. Maybe for you it’s gadgets. Or travel. Or endlessly scrolling job postings. Or working late nights when you don’t need to.

Ask yourself:

•  What story is my habit telling?
•  Am I chasing joy, or safety?
•  Am I buying because I want to, or because I once felt I couldn’t?

The answers aren’t always comfortable. But they’re always powerful.

    How we spend, save, or study is rarely random. It’s the language of our past. The more we listen, the more we understand. Not just others, but ourselves.

  

P.S. Every habit has a backstory. What’s yours?